Moving to London & Smoking Magic

Dec 2024

I'm so behind on my Blog Writing.

Tell me off and spank me for it. (MLWM, innit.)

Every time I smoke outdoors with a Superkings or a Cigar of some sort with a Special Person, I often get what I want (have talked about).

As of recent, I've talked about Top Surgery, and a couple of days later, I get confirmation that my first appointment is coming.

And then I've recently talked about being homeless and needing somewhere to live, less than a week later, I find a House Share that I can afford.

Since then, I'm now looking at and talking to landlords in London about moving in early next year.

I've gone from being homeless, definitely, to MOVING TO LONDON. Which is something I could only dream about. I never thought it was do-able. Ever.

This is THE biggest risk in my life & career.

I am turning away from my physical life-long home for The Big Smoke. I don't have a safety net.

I have no guaranteed work or income. I have no plan. Nothing.

Just vibes and energy. And a NEED.

A need for a better (sex) life. Better mental health. A better way of being alive.

All I need is a goal. That's it. And I'll get myself there in any way shape or form.

Nothing else matters.

I've already looked at one House Share down Brick Lane. Nothing about the place was essentially sell-able to me, bar the location. I was 100% down for living in a square room with a cardboard door because I'm very desperate. But desperate people are powerful weapons. Because we will find any way to do anything.

I can do anything. I remind myself.

Feb 2025

The first House Share didn't work out. I saw two rooms and the Landlord said that he already "gave away" the room the very next day. Huh, that was quick. Smells like bullshit to me. Anyway, I have looked a few others and then... Boxing Day came along... my mum read one text in the wrong way and hated my guts over it and stopped me from going down to London to actually look at a possible dream house. So, we paid for another year's worth of Ground Rent for my Caravan and I'm still stuck in Norfolk for another year or less.

I came home to a broken fridge, that's now working again... but it's semi-temperamental and I've spent £200+ on a new fridge that's coming tomorrow (Tuesday) and I now need to buy another £50-100 worth of food or so. Sigh.

BUT in less than 2 months... I have put that I can do anything energy to good use.

I had my Top Surgery Appointment and Top Surgery is a Go Johnny! Go Go Go Go! In... Torquay! (I fucking know!)

So hopefully, will have my Top Surgery in Mid-November or even September time. But no matter what, I'll be at Apocatoberfest... no matter what...

I left my partner two days after my birthday. Not the best timing, I know... but it had to be done. There was many reasons why I finally decided to do so, but the main reason(s) is that as much as I'm Polyam/ENM, (whatever), I was unknowingly in a throuple. Myself, my partner and Cinema.

I love a good autistic with a fun hyperfixation, I really do. I'd be a hypocrite if not. But sometimes... you have to put hyperfixations on the side for... lets say, I don't know? Your friends... partners? I don't know, I've never had a hyperfixation so strong that I put all of my priorities on the floor for cinema.

There's no such thing as being physically incapable of doing nothing but centering my entire life on a hyperfixation. But perhaps I'm wrong? Perhaps I'm bitter. But it's not just me who's noticing it, now.

Other people are now admitting to me that they're getting peeved by said behaviour.

I'm sensing a pattern.

The main reason for leaving, is that I'm a Gay & Aromantic Man; I wasn't sexually attracted or romantically attracted to them. That is, usually, rather important in a relationship. But that is also my fault, I tried something as an experiment, it didn't work this time around (though, this situation has worked before), and that's really about it.

And since I left my partner... I-

Have been really chill and happy? I'm actually alright.

I've been doing the mental preparation for quite a few months now, and I think that's helped a lot.

So... I'm back to being single... ish. That ish is very important.

I still have a Pup and also... a Straight Bear Man-Friend (?)

Both of which are very cool human beings that I adore and I hope they're people who stay in my life for a long time to come.

The Pup finishes Uni in September and therefore, their contract with their flat, so a possibility of Flat Hunting with them in London.

Straight Bear Man-Friend made me realise how much I love and appreciate him on my birthday when he did more for me whilst living 4 hours away from me, than my Ex-Partner did. He's a good Daddy Bear.

BIG NEWS!

I, on a whim, applied for the Camden Fringe and I'm doing it with almost 10 year old work that was written for Radio and not Theatre so... who knows how it'll go down! But I have my dream venue and a bunch of people are already excited for it. So... *fingers crossed* it goes really well!

I'm also currently on a Book Tour for Stories Of Now Vol 2, which is going really well!

So... by the end of the year...

I should:

• Have moved to London, or close to doing it.
• Performed at least one Fringe Festival.
• Published my second book.
• Had or getting ready to have Top Surgery.
• Had a lot of hot gay sex whilst I rinse Grindr. (Not guaranteed this one.)

So yes... Magic is, real, and all around us.

With the power of absolute will and vibes.

Put your wants out into the world... and smoke a Cigar whilst you do it.

(I'm also still madly in love with XNZ. So perhaps I should smoke with him again and ask him "so? When are we getting married?" And then we have hot wild sex and get married and we live together happily ever after. The End.)

-Koschei J Rex